Saddam has a Dream...What should we do?...A Pythonic Conference
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Just Imagine
Saddam is mad as hell and is not going to take it anymore from the Kurdish Chief Judge, who apparently left his legal post when the Republican Guard went alooking for him.. Saddam decides to do the same ...and walks out of the Courtroom..There's a big hush all over the halls...He pushes past the guards who.(it is alleged). try to trip him up.......Saddam stumbles forward but recovers quickly and instantly recognizes two of his own R.G's.(it is alleged)...They wink assuredly at Saddam.(it is alleged)...
Saddam ,with shoulders rounded and head downward, strides purposely toward (not unlike Sharon) his 8x10 six feet re-inforced Haliburton concrete walled cell .He lays on the Haliburton iron frame bed that is covered with a two inch cloth mattress..There is no light,just the reflecting Moon spinning against the wall and the two feet dense Haliburton concrete floor..To order your very own..Click here with your visa card ready..
He is demoralized and saddened and wonders what is happening to himself and why George Bush is enjoying himself breakfasting with all denominations.... except the Muslim...
He racks his brain in trying to understand what Rumsfeld called the gas bombs that were first presented to himself many years ago..For they are going to be extremely important in his defence of charges that will be levelled against him..in the next trial.
Saddam picks up his pencil and paper and continues with his poem..
With closed eyes he starts to imagine the sentence and word with rhythm that must intertwine to effect a worthwhile effort..
His thought patterns are being short circuited, where the neuronic activity provides vivid memory of things past,present and indeed the future..The poem lays on his chest ......with the pencil slowly falling through his fingers...He is asleep and he starts to dream.
Saddam is sitting in his favourite pink Palace with two phones,one on each side ......with Arafat and Sharon sitting on a couple of three legged wooden stools(no make that three stools)... Rumsfeld and Cheney are bent over shining their shoes/sandals.
On the blue coloured phone(tapped by the IRA)will be the BeeBee boys and on the red phone will be Chirac and Putin with Tenet "acting" as Acting Security Consultant..
The conversation could go something like thison the very first meeting of their explosive mindsets .....
Saddam
..."Okay my newly acquired friends of fame and fortune(Praise be to Allah) lets talk oil..black gold..Ford and GM food...and not your old Hill-Billy Clamperts stuff...but mine...with a 1/4 % to my VIP General (without portfolio's) Scott Ritter and just the way she is..Ms Barbara Streisand...Allah be with and guide them to fame and fortune..again. "
Bush "But Mr President,I know we agreed to do anything you wanted of us,but do you really need Tony and myself to be standing here in these panties and bra's with our fingers up each others bum..It seems a bit BAZAAR sir...besides, I have this
horrible habit of picking my nose when I speak long distance.....please"
Tony
.."Quiet Georgious..I will never live this down when I get back home to Scotland(thinks!!! 'my real home') .Yes Mr President we are still here just waiting to talk to whoever will listen to us...Yes Mr President, I will refrain from dropping into my Americ..Ameri..Amer... my Yankee accent..sorry sir."
Saddam
..."Alrrrrighttty then...To you two boys its 186euro a barrel, FOB from my (converted) underground storage tanks..Just tell VIP Scott Ritter that I sent you....To you Chi and Pute...$18 a drum.....no no....18euro a barrel...Delivered by any of George's Air Craft Carriers..your choice...Howwwsat my friends.,,short and sweet"
Blair
.."But Sir we....!!! "
Bush
.."Shut up Toni and stand up straight...Stop twisting your goddam finger will you, I will see to the President's request..My God !!(forgive me Ashcroft)we have dozens of them docked in Bin Ladens Bay sir ..just rusting away..Yes sir we will get them to the Froggland President and my ex soulmate Mr Putin...Yes sir, will comply ASAP ...once I pull my finger out"
Saddam
..."George,the President is French.....Chi is very upset with you... he tells me that he is showing you two fingers..with his palm towards himself...not like that great President Churchill of yours."
Bush
.."Sorry sir,I did not mean to besmall[sic]?? the fine gentleman from Quebec "
Saddam
..."Allah be merciful...George{Arabic swearword)..no it doesn't matter....Lets procede with the proceeds...I will reduce it to 185 Euro if you let me have CNN and the Pox News....The Wa-shit-on Post...The New Bourse Times..The Jew of ET and Britney Spears.... if she really is a Brit."
Putin
.."Hey Saddy..Gonna make a movie of yourself...one up on Nebuchadnezzar and Hammurabi.. eh....Great stuff....I'll send some old buddies down from the KAY GEE BEE to give Spielberg a hand in the casting department,including hiring poets and playwrights They really do like that Sean Bond guy from Scotland..you know the Nationalist that accepted a title off Tony's Queen in England ..no not you George...you know,the place just above where Tony lives...Spitting image of you he is.... handsome man..."
Bush
.."Hear Hear!!..very handsome he is...O'h God!! ....Toni that hurt that did....jealous bit*h"
Chirac
..."Monsieur Bushman..you are arrogaunt and deeseatful and furdermore your langguage is duscustin..Will you listenen to whaat thee Presidente is tellink you...When will de shipps be avallable...Monsieur Pouting and merself are very impetont peoples now.
Bush
.."Awe...Gee I wuz only pulling your leg Froggie..!!Who's your daddy then!!...hands up or draw pardner."
Saddam
..."Enough is enough George!!...To continue..Tony, I want two seats at the EU(me and President Arafat) and they better have the pump up features,along side Chi and Puts and a double veto arrangement at the UN Security Council...I like the black guy in charge,but he will have to move the UN buildings into Baghdad for security reasons...We don't want those terrorists Ashcroft,Straw and Jerry Falwell(Allah ..please phone him )and Rabbi Goldstein sneaking up on us..do we.....What was that Mr Sharon??"
Sharon
..."Nothing sir.. I was just saying..who the hell is this Allah bloke..Is he a friend of yours sir..........I thought so...sir."
Bush
.."Hey! wait a minute pardner..You can't talk to Mr Sharon like that..he is a good and decent man and I must protec..I must pro...I must...I must not talk out of turn...sorry Mr President
Saddam
..."President Puts..now about that $10 billion we owe you..If I offer/throw Haliburton and Carlyle to you on a 5 year lease or a buy agreement with a lop sided notwithstanding clause favoring the Iraqi people,would you accept such, as an amazing opportunity..Of course, if the Dow gets back above 145 and NASDAQ above 22 then they will be duly returned to President Arafat......George's dad (Bush41)and Dickey boy here will be gainfully employed by you and they will be entitled to two 15 mins breaks for every 50 hours of work..I will leave the boring details to our Embassy to figure out...Agreed then.....good....very very good Puts..I knew I could lie ,I mean rely on you dear comrade"
Cheney
...May I speak sir..thank you sir...I would gracefully and humbly like to remind the President that I did a lot of thingys to help you through your very very rough period when those horrid men sanctioned you and your adorable people...I did not take a penny in remuneration and I even scolded that awful woman sir ..no not Lewinsky sir..but Ms Allbright who said such nasty things about the children of your great nation...You are the first person to know all this Mr President ..accept for Sherman Skolnick and Jeff Rense and Gordie Thomas and Kev Dowling and believe it or not sir most of the National Media of that country far across the Atlantic whose name is forbidden in the great lands of Allah....Praise be to Allah.
Saddam
..."Yes Dickey.and they said you had heart problems..you were indeed a friend when the going was tough and I commend you on your speaking out...Democracy at work..eh..All good stuff..could get use to it I imagine...What you say Puts?..O'h you don't like it..I understand dear comrade"
Cheney.
.."Thank you sir....Mr President...no not you George"
Saddam
..."Alrrrrighttty then..Puts..Will you make that three 15 mins breaks for Dickey and George's daddy then dear friend"
Chirac
..."Mr Presidente..no not yew Bushman.....Sir,woould it be possibelle fer Monsieur Bluair to ask permissioon of de Urology..no no pardone ...of de Uroopeane Uneon Cowncel to see evf Monsieur Arafaty could lend the EU sum of hees Haaamass circuratty forcees fer the probleems we are expeereencing in Bullgarier..I wish to reemind the Presidente orf the promisse we made to theem lest year."
Tenet
..."Did I hear some one here say 'Promis'..without an e ..Here for Promis without the 'E'(shareware) Who was that..stand up and be recognised..This is Chief George Tenet speaking(no not you George..me)...Mr President sir.. I suggest sir, we move immediately to pink Palace delta-epsilon sir..That's right sir ,the one with all that nasty stuff underneath sir..We have been infiltrated by people owning the key to the back door and weapons of mass destruction sir..Your wish is my command Mr president..Yes sir..Yes sir..Yes sir...we stay ..yes sir..okay dokay then."
Rumsfeld
..."Hey Georgia boy..no not you Bush 43..Still hyper after 30 years service I see..I know he is a Froggy but I never noticed that the E was missing and his pees are always small...Better re-retire before the Apocalyptic Kid(Ashcroft) gets to you..He tells me he has a lot of scores to settle with certain people..He sez he really can appreciate now being crucified by ones own peoples..and is going to have some people write a book about it....He is mad.. bigtime."
Saddam
..."Shut up everyone..Shut up.....this is not a bloody Democracy here..or haven't you noticed..Rumsfeld get back to President Arafat's high fashioned Italian pointed shoes will you or I will have you up to your neck in Saudi sand in the summertime alongside Ahmed Chalabi (The Thief of Baghdad)and just leave you there for Ashcroft's Angels to descend and peck your eyeballs out...and you Dickie boy..stop spitting on my new Elvis Presley blue suede shoes...READ MY LIPS.DICKEY BOY..they do not shine...George old chap,how in hell did you put up with them..Yep and your daddy"
Putin
..."Sir can we get onto talking about and settling the issue of Israel and their eventual immigration problem of 5 million Americ..(sorry sir) that are now on their way via Cuba and Lands End in England...Prime Minister Ms B.Streisand is very concerned about 'the way they were' when she was booted out of(you know where sir.. the USA)after some notable writer of past years(Julius Caesar) let her down in a most embarrassing exhibition of literary incompetence.. long gone now,rest his SOUL..Sorry George about that..I never used the bloody word until I heard you mention it......(looked into his soul, my ass)"
Saddam
...."Well Arry what do think we should do,afterall Sharon here and George 43 really did give you so much to think about and your Construction Company did earn good profit during those golden years..eh what"
Arafat.
.."Good friend..May the beast of burden never return to you Palace gate..May the Mesopotamian madness of past years never raise in the hearts of infidels(and Ashcroft)..May you rebuild your new Babylon from the ashes and coffers of said infidels (and Ashcroft)...May your
Garden of Eden once more flourish in the land of Abraham and not in the land of Disney...May the Fertile Crescent of yesteryear refurnish itself beneath your feet(nice shoes Saddy)...May 'The Seven Voyages of Sinbad the Sailor' be shown on CNN at Prime Time...May this Cradle of Civilization spawn many more Bin Ladens without the video playback...May I have one of your peaches please...Umm very nice"
Saddam
...."Very well said Arry..couldn't have phrased it better myself..the Bin Laden bit was a little overstated,don't you agree...Could have been a great leader but his sights were really on Hollywood"
Bush
..."Totally agree Mr President,it was overstated..but the Prime Time thingy should be no problem sir..I promise (sic) to cancel my Speech to the Nation"
Tenet
..."Here we go again..who said Promis,without an E and a bloody small p ......Own up..was it you Sharon....you back door salesman that you are..Sorry Mr President...and up your nose with a rubber hose Rumsfeld..yes sir I will sit back down"
Sharon
..."George, my sinister spyman with two E's but without a dictionary..Why are you always accusing the Jewish people..We give you(returned) lots of information and you just cannot find enough Yiddish scholars to translate it..If the Americ.. Ameri.. Amer...Yankee Jewish kids are sent to the same schools as Georgina 43..yes you George(sir) ...what can you expect....promisE..PromisE..PROMISE...Now get your choppers into that Georgie boy..no no, not you George 43(sir)
Chirac
..."Monsieur Bluair,yew are so quieter..what are yew listenen too..It is no like yew too bee sooo quieter Monsieur Bluair..are yew warrying aboot the foootball game or what Cheree may tink aboot Monsieur Bushman with hees fingerrr up youarrr bumm"
Blair
...."Shuush will you ..shut up Chirac, be quite.....can anybody hear any Irish accents on these damn phones..There it goes again..they are laughing at us..It's that bloody(sorry Ashcroft or God)Trimble and the other lot of money sucking and mother sucking...sorry about that Mr President......no sir I said 'mother sucking' sir"
Saddam.
..."Now Tony,will you please stop your swearing in French at my and Arry's dancing partne
Bush
.."Hey Toni .. I didn't know you could speak Moslem and Arabic..Oh!! it's that Froggish stuff..sorry..Never went to New Orleans when I should have..its not that far from the great State of Florida..did you know..Sorry about the Beans and Chili I had for lunch.. my favourite Scotti you... wuff ...wuff wuff"
Saddam.
..."Right gentlemen and you Mr Arafat/Mr Sharon that's enough..I will just outline to those present and Mr Trimble if he is listening, of the agreements(under Shiakurunni Law)we have finalised here today at this pink Palace(delta burke) on this day 7 June 2006.
1..Ford Fuel price... to George and Tony will be 185euro per barrel..not to be resold to any See Eye Aye men in black suits and dark glasses purporting to be business directors.....Tenet..shut up before I exterminate your tenure.
2..Fuel for France price... to Chi and Puts will be $18.....what's that.....sorry ..18euro per barrel........You will most definitely not ...I repeat ...will not open or process barrels in any of those fine spanking new refineries in Western Palestine (thank you George..yes you George) until such time as Mubarac provides his somewhat late Environmental Report from the Mediterranean Survey.(Allah be patient)
3..Mr Arafat will with Mossad's assistance lend the EU not more that three hives of Hamass freedom fighters for control in the Bulgarian conflict...They will....repeat,they will be retrained by Mossard before shipping out......George and Tony will supply any transportation required even if they have to lease from the Bin Laden's Trucking Company or the Eye Are Aye's super fleet of Land Rovers
4..Mr Sharon will ask(very nicely) if Prime Minister Streisland needs any non-partisan assistance in the comforting and housing of the "NEW AMERICANS" (yes and you George)when they land in whatever place that can be immediately found.. preferably in the grand State or Province of Israel..The selection of area will be entirely at the Prime Ministers discretion(no not you Tony)..Non-partisan representatives will not be sought within the confines of the Washington Congress..It is absolutely forbidden...(Thinks..safe bet there)..
5..Now I am going to say this without an E...so Tenet be warmed...The original Promis software will be taken from the achives of Sherman Skolnick's vast library and transported(George to arrange) to the rightful owners and designers of said software..Mr Castro will not punish those that tried to deceive(Sharon stop hiding in that closet..no I was not talking to you Tony...you can just stay there)..Furthermore, Mr Castro will send his new Security Chief Mr M.Noreiga to ensure that the said Promis software(sit down Tenet) is free of virii and Trojans and all sorts of mass destruction thingys.(Thinks... I never thought of them)....He will sign for receipt of the Promis software..
6..Now the last couple of things I want to say..then you can all leave together..Are........I have scheduled the next meeting for sometime in July 2006..I have been informed by Mr Tenet that our guest speakers and presenters have accepted(at needle point) our invitation for that meeting.
Mr Colon Powell and/or Ms Condom Rice,the Presidential Candidate for 2008.. will give us a rundown/report on our new Management Structuring Policy #3165 which has been sent for implementation to both The Bildeberg Group and The Trilateral thingy..Wonderful graphical illustrations will be the order of the day(Allah be willing)
The ADL/Bni Brith and all other silly groups,including the Never Say Die Ministries of Falwell and Robertson (Allah take notice) have been requested to send representatives..without note-books and/or cheque-books.....
Main Guests will be (with notebooks and cellulars)... Messrs. Skolnick/Rense/Watson/Rivera/Sheehan/Plame&Wilson /Uffington/Vialls(if alive)/
Mr Rumsfeld will be responsible for Meeting Room flower arrangements and Security Chief Tenet with his superior knowledge in Plastic Polymerization will arrange the chairs and tables and low ceiling lighting...Dark glasses are optional
So be it.....I declare under the guidance of our great leader in the sky... this meeting is closed
THEY ALL LEAVE THE TELECONFERENCE ROOMS
Rummy.."leader in the sky"..Was he talking about a new bomber or something"
Cheney.."He may have been referring to one of the article graphics on Jeff Rense's website..its good stuff"
Tenet.."psst Dickie..look down the cellar there..that's where he keeps the stuff (Afghani dope 2001..the good stuff)"
Cheney.."O'h I thought you was talking about oil...you mean the other stuff George's daddy gave him."
Sharon.."Bloody embarrassing it was..video conferencing gone mad..where's Mossad when you really need them"
Arafat.."Dead right..can you imagine how Tony and George felt.."
Arafat.. "What's this thingy going on between Tenet and Old Rummy then"
Sharon.."awe..Rumsfeld was the go between for Bush41/Reagan and Saddam and Tenet knows a lot of what went on back then"
Chirac.."Did you see Arafat's face when George started to defend Sharon"
Putin.."Yea..his eyes were just popping out and Sharon had that same smug look on his face"
Blair.."I never knew you liked beans and chili Georgette...learn something new everyday..eh"
Bush.."You wait until the shi* hits the fan..then you will see some Mexican Madness"
Bush.."I always thought that you was English Tony..you speak English very well considering you are not English"
Blair.."UUgh..you just gone and lost me mate...I was born in Scotland "
Bush.."You mean you can speak Scottish as well...I always wanted to be bilingu--- speak two languages too...alas my time has past"
Blair.."George..get to know ONE first..Then you can throw away Rove's feed.
AND THEY ALL WALKED OUT INTO THE EVENING SUNSHINE THROUGH THE BEAUTIFUL GROUNDS OF THE PINK PALACE...and Allah was pleased with his work...and Disneyland seemed so far away.
Should they wake Saddam up
No...Be put to sleep permanently.
Yes..Then leave Sharon's Israeli Cardiac Arrest Doctors attend to him.
Yes..Wake him up and tell him George will meet him in McDonalds for breakfast.
Yes, Tell him he's won the Nobel Poetry Award..then tell him he is dreaming again.
No..Leave justice take its course..no matter how long it takes
Yes..But only if he really does ask the US for 185 Euros a barrel.
Yes..Most certainly, If he has asked Powell to do the presentation in the next meeting.
No...Let Ms Germ and Ms Anthrax attend to him...with Oprah W. on standby.
Yes..But only if he promises to show the BeeBeeBoys when he hid all the snuff and stuff..
Yes..Then give Oprah W. a shot at him..but with no audience prompting.
No..Leave him sleep it off..We need him to testify against both Bushes,Blair,Cheney and Old Rumsfeld
Yes..With Chalabi 'lying' alongside him and a one bullet pistol dangling from the Haliburton ceiling.
Troedyrhiw
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